A new day, a fresh attack on the city. In the shadows of the Underdark, we appear within the cities walls, next to one of the waterways that crisscross the inner walls, where Beard leans over and opens up his Portable Hole filling it to the brim with water. Before you think the maniacal Dwarf has sunk to new lows of insanity, this is merely another in the long line of cunning plans conjured from the depths of his mind.

With his normal pink velvet boudoir cushions safely stashed away in the Forbiddance area, the Hole is now a place for us to all return to the moment of our birth, as with Water breathing cast upon us, we can all safely stay hidden within the watery claustrophobic area for a hour more than normal. This is something that will surely surprise the unsuspecting, as I doubt anyone would expect an attack from a load of dripping wet prune skinned water wing wearing idiots like us.

There is no-one about, and armed with courage (or idiocy depending on your viewpoint) our crude map and a small arsenal of weapons, we quickly rush over to the building we marked as next in our goal for vandalising the City. All up against the wall, a quick peek round shows that two Kua-toa guards are stationed at the entrance, both armed and both carrying large hunting horns slung about their waist.

The building we are leaning against seems to be very important, as it is covered in intricate carvings compared to the normal grey stone walls of most of the cities buildings. As I look closer, I am not amused, as the carvings show various races of the world abasing themselves before the Kua-toa, especially those of Men, Dwarf and Elf. We quickly move round the corner, but the slippery Kua-toa are waiting and ready for us, and as one steps up to intercept Beard who had moved round the corner first, the other takes his horn and loudly blows an alarm signal.

Feinting to the right, Beard thunders his club into the side of the first guard, ribs cracking under the force of the blow. The Kua-toan warrior responds with a thrust from his half spear, but it’s easily deflected by the Dwarf’s shield. Pellet steps round the corner, and as I move towards the door, the Elf fires arrows either side of my head, all of them hitting the horn blowing Kua-toa.

The Kua-toan staggers under the arrows blows, but still continues to blow his horn, despite the fact that one of the arrows had ricocheted off the fish-mans breastplate and was stuck in it. Agador rushes in and also feints his opponent, but mistimes the attack slightly and the heavily spiked club on loan from me sticks fast to the slimy shield. The horn blowing guard is cut down from behind by Salas, Finslayer emerging in a bloody swathe from the Kua-toan’s chest. The Barbarian had decided to run round the entire back of the building rather than push past everyone at the front, the horn blower dropping to the floor at his feet just as Beard’s final blow smashes the other guard into the wall.

I quickly check the guards, but neither of them has any keys, and so Agador casts Knock on the door instead. As the door is magically opened, a billowing cloud envelops those standing within the door entrance, followed quickly by the familiar green burst of not one but two Dispel Magic spells. I lose a few spells, and most are redundant castings, all except possibly the most important of the lot, Water Breathing. So, there will be no re-enacting my birth with the others, as along with being very wrinkly after being submerged in Beards Lido for an hour, I would also be slightly dead.

I still have Blind sight though, and this allows me to pick out three Kua-toan figures within the still present cloud, and so I move in and position myself by a pillar to reach them next time. Max, following in after me, has absolutely no idea where he is going, and so runs in a straight line, hitting an altar of some kind, before climbing over it and finding himself face to face with a fishy Cleric.

The building we are within is defiantly a Temple of sorts, and I feel very oppressed – something that will be dealt with shortly as I will defiantly convert it to a neutral place of worship or raise it to the ground completely. I digress however, as my thoughts of where to put a new pulpit are rudely interrupted by a Dimensional Anchor spell successfully taking hold on me.

Rallets moves into the fray, and skilfully moves into position, without realising that he has managed to stop others from getting into the fray. He uses this skilfully positioning wisely however, dropping his weapon. Grumbling over the usefulness of his manoeuvring, I fly above him, hit the Kua-toan Cleric hard, and then drop my weapon, thankful that the Obscuring Mist hides my bright red face from the scrabbling Scout. At least one party member continues the good fight, as Max’s claws are making short work of filleting the Kua-toan before him, the Cleric’s swivelling eyes looking around for a means to escape the severe beating he is currently taking.

Robbie, who had moved away from the door, without realising it had moved him closer to danger by being more exposed to the rest of the city, suddenly sees a large white bear approaching the entrance to the Temple, but before he can fire an arrow, it disappears into the Mist. Beard moves up and positions himself to Castigate the Kua-toan’s, and Pellet fires a truly spectacular arrow into one of the Priests, killing it with a single arrow to the throat. His next arrows hit a Monk Kua-toa twice, both arrows flying true and hitting deep, and the Monk drops as he is struck in the back by Agador.

The remaining Kua-toa brings up a sickly glowing hand and lays it upon Rallet’s shoulder, causing the Scout to call out in pain as it casts Cause Serious Wounds, upon him. Rallets reacts in yet another jaw dropping display of skill - adopting a pose, he draws a new weapon and flourishes it before lunging and missing by a mile. The Kua-toa tries to catch the passing sword on his shield, but Rallets manages to twist it at the last moment to keep it in his hand, long enough for him to drop the new weapon at the giggling Cleric’s feet.

Picking my weapon up amongst the three weapons on the floor, I see the steadfast Paladin step up to block the Kua-toan’s path, sweeping his claw straight into the Clerics sticky shield. Groaning inwardly, I watch as Max surprised look turns to anger and he leaps upon the fish-man, bearing him to the floor with his heavily spiked armour. The Paladin finally kills the Cleric, but I suspect the killing is tainted somewhat by the fact that it was laughing too much at the ineptitude of a few party members to put up a decent struggle.*

Beard moves to close the doors, when the room explodes with a Fireball and Scintillating Cloud cast in quick succession. The two spell effects have not even registered on the party when a Lightning bolt blazes through the door hitting Robbie and Beard, followed by five Magic Missiles that thud into Robbie – thankfully dissipated by the brooch he wears.

The doors are finally closed and everyone is burnt and bruised, and Beard calls urgently for people to get in the swimming hole. We get a few seconds to get a breather, and a few quick heals are passed about before the doors are smashed in by the hulking figures of two giants, and the room once more fills with Fireballs. Salas burns very brightly**, and Finslayer's scabbard is totally destroyed, but the sword itself looks as though just crafted. The fire also lights Agador's toad pocket, and then myself and Salas are hit by a Lightning Bolt, while Salas is also the target of five more Magic Missile.

Beard quickly blocks the doors again with a Wall of Stone, and in the brief lull, Pellet and Max disappear into the hole, while Robbie disappears into a Rope Trick. I bless everyone with Bears Heart while knowing full well I can’t get into the Hole nor the Rope Trick due to the glowing band round my ankle.

Beard manages to dispel my Dimensional Anchor, and I leap into the Hole as Beard folds it up and Teleports away. Rallets moves into the Rope Trick without realising that he needed to be outside before Agador can Dimension Door them away, and so another precious few seconds are spent in the room. As they move into position, a Giant sticks his head in before quickly removing it as yet another Fireball explodes into the room.

They vanish, and within minutes, we are outside the cities walls, all near the statue entrance to the secret door by our Forbiddance zone. All of us are very burnt looking, frazzled, tired and wet. Casting Water Breathing again, as I was not the only one to lose the ability to breath in the Hole, I cast Etherealness on Beard and he travels through to the safe area by the wall we made close to the Derro.

Here we gather the velvet cushions, Snagger, and bid a final farewell to our den – which is defiantly not safe anymore. Back into the Hole we go, and grabbing Snagger, Beard Teleports us to the surface outside Kuiper's farmhouse. A surprised Kuiper opens the door to 6 dripping wet people, and on asking "Why are you here?" is truthfully told, "We wanted breakfast". As breakfast is prepared, we ask what’s happening within the towns, and are told that Taustar is still locked up, and the two old men are still at large, although haven’t been seen in a while. To make sure we are not spotted in Kuiper’s house by possible Scrying, I drop an Obscuring Mist so that we are difficult to pinpoint and can all eat in peace – grey and misty, but very peaceful nonetheless.

After thanking Kuiper for his fine meal, we leave the house and decide to camp the night, scouring the hillside for a nondescript copse of tree’s to dwell in. As we cross the fields leaving Kuiper’s, we detect they we have been Scryed upon, and within moments two stunning naked women appear high in the air. Before I can warn anyone, they sweep in and Rallets is immediately mesmerized by their naked charms.

Rallets attacks me with the fury of the charmed, and I ignore all of his sneaky but failed attacks, and am more concerned about the spittle on my shiny armour as he screams obscenities at me - I will take this up with him later methinks. Ignoring him once more, I defensively cast Aspect of the Deity, becoming more angelic and glowing with a soft metallic sheen. I then fly upwards, shouting that these are in fact Devils – Erinyi’s to be precise, and they turn to snarl at the Outsider qualities of my new appearance.

Beard joins me in the air dodging the Fireball and Ice Storm cast by the two floor bound wizards, but with careful timing, drops his weapon as he attacks. The spells cast deflect from the Devils spell resistance, and Beards falling spiked club unfortunately misses Rallets, who is running round trying to find another target to spit on. Beard just shrugs at the loss of his weapon and isnstead just Flame strikes the one before him, while Pellet shoots the one burnt by Beard’s Holy flames dead with his first arrow. With his next arrows he shoots the one next to me, and the last Devil faces the wrath of Gorm as she is smitten dead by my axe.

Not ten seconds later 2 more devils appear, lower down in the air than before, winking out again as they manage to charm Rallets once more. Pellet is there next target, and thankfully he shrugs off the charms of the ladies, as being shot down with ones own magically enhanced arrows would be a tad un-enjoyable to say the least. Rallets attacks the Barbarian, striking him in the side, but the match becomes very one sided as Salas becomes a huge Polar bear, rears up before the Scout, and pins him to the floor with a single paw. Pellet shoots one of the ladies, as does Robbie, but the Dance Lords arrows are not enhanced enough to be able to strike the Devils.

I do a flying charge into one just as it rains fire down onto Salas, and LotD banishes one with a fine Rapier strike through the temple. The last Devil plays hide and seek with us for a while, trying once more to charm party members, but it strays close enough for me to charge it during its little game, and my axe strike causes it to disappear.

I join the party, flying to the ground where they are gathered, just as Beard holds up the chin of the frothing Rogue, who is still held by the burnt bear, and punches him unconscious. Dragging the comatose Rallets by the ankle, we quickly move into a Rope Trick to prevent more appearing naughty naked ladies.

 

* - This really was an amazing spate of bad rolls for people. Rallets rolled a 1 to attack and dropped his weapon, followed by me doing the same thing. Rallets next go was to draw a new weapon, then roll a 2 or 3 missing the Kua-toa, but managing to keep hold of his weapon. Then on his next attack, he rolls yet another 1. Max, who until them was slicing his way through things, joins us, and yep, rolls a 1. Since he can’t drop his weapon, he misses, and gets stuck to the Kua-toan instead.

** - Salas rolled a 1 for his save, and luckily for him the target of possible destruction of his equipment was Finslayer, whom easily made the saving throw.

 

Agador	Beard	Grassy	Max	Pellet	Rallets	Robbie	Salas
As Robbie	For taking out Priest	As Robbie	Left early so did not hand out xp	As Robbie	As Robbie	For casting wall of stone stopping further attacks	As Beard